Lima Central

Anew day, a new adventure. This time I ventured into the centre of Lima. The day before I had been chatting to my sister and she asked why I had not been on the bus yet? Because they are the most dangerous form of transport known to man, I replied. The crew of Apollo 13 would think twice before stepping onto a minibus (or combi) in Lima.

So, after she asked this I could only really use the combi on my journey into Lima Central (even if it was a silly idea). Michael had said that the buses in South America are high quality, well if Merry Hill Mini buses from cicra 1934 are high quality, that explains why Michael drives a Smart car (only joking mom!).

so I step onto the bus (not sure if it is really going in the right direction) and the driver sets off at a million miles an hour, with the conductor hanging out of the open door calling out for potential customers. Pot holes and huge holes are driven over with gusto (and there are a lot of these) but fortunately there is a combi lane. Unfortunately it is busier than the normal car lane and you cannot move. This does not stop the drivers trying to move, cutting each other up, cutting each other back up, and cutting each other back up again. On top of this the drivers like to answer their mobile phones (using them in strange Peruvian way whereby they use it like a walky talkie? The other Peruvian foible is covering their mouth with their hand whilst using the phone - I think they have had problems with deaf people decifering what they are saying and feeding it back to the corrupt government - or maybe they have all got smelly breath from the huge amount of red onions they put on absolutely everything!!!!!). Anywho I am sure it will not be long before I adopt the covered mouth position for my phone conversations (this may look a bit starnge for those of you that talk to me on Skype but you will get used to it). Plus this particular bus driver liked to read the newspaper whilst driving too - just to add that little more danger to the journey.

Then in the distance I see it! Not the city, but the smog that means the centre must be close. The end of the road cannot be seen for the think dust (and hygroscopic nucleii) that pack the air. As the traffic is going nowhere, jumping off and walking was the best option (why others dont also do this I am not sure ((they must know something about the area I dont)).

The buildings are typically colonial (run down colonial to be more accurate). This is like Buenos Aires but without a lick of paint being applied since the Spanish first came over. After all if its ain't baroque then why fix it!

And after the shiny security guard haven that is Mira Flores, real Lima finally struck me. Beggars are on every corner, mothers elbow their kids to go after the white man in the England shirt, people look at you everywhere (again for the whiteness). However, the beggars are not rude, they are not agressive and they are hugely grateful for money (rather than seeing you have more in your wallet and begging further). The people are polite (a lady actually stood on a corner warning tourists from going down there).

The central sqaure is beautiful (see cheesy video I made) and the area still carries this strange intangible buzz that Peru seems to have. There was a food festival, although only dougnuts were consumed and there was also the chance to listen to an awful singer (he also was hugely grateful as the money in his pot was tripled!).

Then to the Church ........ to be continued.

Peru v Holland

So after the nightmare that had been the box pickup. What more could possibly go wrong on Wednesday. Well, on the way back from Alan's house (a really nice man who lives with his wife Pat and he is Head of Chemistry) my flip flop broke. It now flips but doesnt flop.

I then went to a bar in the evening with Kegan (Canadian), Luke (Canadian), Tim (Australian) and Jeff (Canadian). So there we were on our Commonwealth games of a few beers and in walked a group of black people. Nothing really odd there I hear you say. Apart from the fact it is odd in Lima as racism against black people would noormally mean that in a posh lounge like this, black people would not be let in. But anywho there was something else different about this group of men. I felt I knew a few of them but couldnt put my finger on it, and most importantly my brain was telling me why 'would I know a group of random people in the middle of Lima?'

then I had a brainwave. 'That one bloke looks just like Ruud Gullit' I exclaimed. Blank faces met my revelation. 'who's Ruud Gullit' was the reply from my ignorant commonwealthian friends. Does the queen not teach these people anything? Also, why are Canada even let into the commonwealth games when they think that real hockey is played on ice? Anywho, I decided that because I couldnt get anyone to confirm my star spot and because there was no reason that a famous sports star would be in a random bar in Lima, I did not go over to him.

Then in the paper the next day is the picture above. Tickets for Holland masters against Peru masters. It was ruud!!!!, the other bloke was Pierre Van Hoijdonk!!!! (scorer of 2 goals from 30+ yards against Blues in approx 1998), there were others too. And I had missed out on photos, drinks and chats about thrashing them in Euro 96! all because of people that would rather watch ice hockey and Aussie rules. What is the world coming to.

Adios

The nightmare of Lima Cargo City

So Wednesday arrived and instead of a day looking at houses and apartments, I am told to go to a session on form tutoring. Ok, I thought. I will get to know the new tutors, get to know the heads of year and also get to familiarise myself with the needs of what they want a form tutor to do in a foreign school.

However, on arrival I was struck with my worst nigtmare. Groups tasks, role plays and getting to know each other exercises! I am 28 if I want to get to know someone I will shake their hands and introduce myself, and more importantly, if I dont want to get to know someone I have the right to that also.

So, after writing my name on the board, introducing myself, writing out my name badge and then drawing a picture on the borad that best represents me, we got to the nitty gritty of the day - oh sorry I forgot - we didn't get to the nitty gritty- we had an activity to draw out or make a represntation of what makes a perfect form tutor. I am not even kidding.

I think thats enough ranting about that. You get the jist, it went on for another 2 hours and on the plus side, I now 'understand my own limitations as a human being' and know that when I make a comment I do not really understand what I am trying to say - clearly not - as the lady would tell me what I was trying to say, after I had said something very different.

Then It was time to get my boxes from the airport.

5 days late and with storage costs acruing, it was time I get myself sorted and picked them up. So we drove at breakneck speed across Lima to the airport, arriving at 3:35 (the office shut at 3:30). Then Thursday - we leave school at 1:00 but this time we ge lost in Lima, then stop to pick up the drivers friend and arrive at 3:00 (only after rushing past the security guards who are screaming at me "senior, senior, Pare, Pare!). Ignoring the screams and thankfully not being shot at for terrorism threats, I get to the desk at 3:02 (it closed at 3:00).

Friday - another inset morning - and then off to the airport. These school drivers are very handy and very kind to be taking this non spanish speaking gringo over to the other side of the city yet again!. This time we get there for 2, I do not do my terror run through security, we have all the right paper filled in but this time the delay is peruvian beauracracy. One form stamped, to another desk, another form, stamped, then pay, then stamp, then another desk, then into the warehouse (a never ending store of boxes, all strangely knocked, dented or damaged) and I get to see my boxes. Then I have to compile a list (in Spanish) with the help of an old lady, of everything that is in the boxes. A lot of miming later, my boxes are checked (the mimes would have won any game of chirades) and I am given the go ahead. Not the go ahead to get the boxes, but the go ahead to pay the storage costs. Then we go back to the car, go to the driver entrance, then get stopped as we have the wrong pass. So we go into the building again, change passes and FINALLY get the boxes into the van.

Many thanks must go to Javier and Pedro for all their help and my ordeal is over.

adios

Beyonce in Lima

Did I go to Beyonce because of the novelty of seeing a major star in a new city over the other side of the world? did I go because I actually wanted to? or did I just go because I knew Lil would be jealous?

To be honest I am not sure which was true but it was very different in reality to how I thought it would be. The venue is not too far from Mira Flores but with typical Peruvian traffic it takes an age to get there.

Only when you get close to the venue does it strike you just how divided this city is. The security guards line the streets as if it was a 1980s football match and when you get out of the taxi the white people get swarmed upon by beggars and random street cellars. 6 soles for a beer, a few soles for a pack of fags (The Canadian teachers also did not know what fags meant, so when I was calling the cigarette seller, the 'fag man' I think they thought I was being rude to him).

Then you have to see which entrance is yours. There is a common entrance (£15), a 2nd common entrance (£25), then a VIP gate and then a SUPER VIP gate. I went to secondary common but the elitism at every level is evident. I am not sure whether Biance knew that she was only close to the super rich in Lima or whether she didn't care as the money continued to roll in.

The conert itself was a bit of a let down. I expected 60,000 people all crammed together with no regard for health and safety (sort of like a British festival). However, it was ordered, non chaotic, with room all around you, and generally quite pleasant.

The crowd seemed just as excited that the world cup was on the stage as they were to see Beyonce.

Then the show itself started and it was good for about 5 minutes. However, she insisted on performing songs that are quite frankly boring! As my mom sais (they are songs that even Lil would skip on an album). Apart from Crazy in Love and that Single Ladies song, the rest was decidedly mediocre. I expected more and when I had got myself out of bed after being violently ill for 24hours, it had to be better than this to be fully worth it.

I am sure that Lil would have loved it. If I were a boy was done adequately, Ave Maria was belted out and there was a 5 minute Destiny's Child megamix (all this proved to do was show how much better their songs are than hers). The Alanis Morisette cover was strange but at least there was a song I knew all the words for.

Sorry about the shoddy video quality (its a bit from Crazy in Love)

Guns N Roses are here next month and then Bon Jovi in the summer. Plus at £25 pounds compared to stadium venues in the UK, this place is cheap as Patatas Fritas.

Adios

ESPNscrum Fantasy Rugby 2010

ESPNscrum Fantasy Rugby 2010

so week two has finished in the 6 nations fantasy league and Michael is on top again - how does he do it?

The secrets of mystic Michael are yet to be revealed and exactly how he has managed to pick players like Bastardo (I think thats how its pronounced) and the walking muscle that is Haskell!

Nick Gately has shown good form to close the gap at the top and there still may be competition for top spot yet.

The match was not exactly great but getting to watch it with an hilarious Spanish commentary made a dull match slightly more enjoyable. Si senor could be heard every time someone got a kick and I think the commentators only knew the name of Jonny Wilkinson as they did not really mention anyone else.

I am looking forward to the next England debarcle only so I can hear the commentators again.

Oh and well done My Pardoe for a much more positive week.

Adios

paddington

peru day one 001
Originally uploaded by JonnyPitt456

Deepest Darkest Peru

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Baby bump

so there is 5 weeks to go. Clare is finally relaxed and doing well. The scan says everything is fine, baby is the right size but this still does not stop Clare worrying. Is my bump too big? Is my bump too small?

Reading baby books, going to anti-natal classes, reading more baby books, worrying, getting excited, worrying, getting excited, reading more baby books, reading more baby magazines etc etc etc......

, its all go. The anti-natal classes are hilarious. The nazi midwives read from a pre-determined script as common sense goes out the window and government waffle and targets are the order of the day. You even have to fill in a survey at the end as to how helpful your midwife was.

Heaven forbid if you cant breastfeed because according to These lot, if you dont breast feed your baby will catch any one of 10,00 different problems and most likely their legs will drop off and they will have 666 tattooed just under their hairline.

Then comes the dreaded fontanells - not only will your babies legs drop off if you dont breast feed but they will have lumps on their head that look like horns - oh, and then the sessions always stray onto talking about poo!!!!! Poo should look like marmite and then like mustard or korma curry if you prefer. The more yellow the better apparently. So we are now experts on poo, breasts and bonding! and remember skin to skin is always best.

As I said only 5 weeks to go and buggy is bought, sterilizer (check), millions of designer dresses (check), funny bath mini bath thing (check), moses basket (check), room temperature monitor (check), nappies (check), baby carrier thingy (check), muslim blankets (check), etc etc etc

However, as much as I joke about it. There is nothing better than being woken up in the middle of the night by the baby in Clare's belly kicking you. Seeing baby move inside Clare and knowing very very very soon, we will have our very first child to share our life with is just magical.

Adios

Pitty's aventure in Lima

So life in Peru has finally started!

The wait since leaving KES has been a nice break. Especially with Clare being pregnant and being able to spend some quality time together.

As you fly into Lima, any preconceived ideas of a beautiful idyll are shattered as you see the first of the millions of shanty huts. For a geographer teaching about shanty towns is a yearly occurrance but no matter how many times you teach about Rochina or Edith Gardens, you cannot prepare yourself for the level of poverty that these people experience.

Then on your drive from the airport, the industry of this city pops out at you. This is why there is none left in Birmingham - its all here!

Then comes the driving. A six car pile up was taken as a usual occurrance but still I was pleasantly surprised by how easy the driving is. Compared to Santiago or Cairo, these drivers are pretty good. Its bit like Birmingham on a Friday evening but with crappier cars, more cutting up and thousands of horns tooting continuosly.

The hotel that Markham kindly provide is also pretty good. The wi-fi means that Skype is available from the second I got here and so the thousands of miles away from loved ones can be dissolved and almost forgotten about as you chat over the laptop and see each other via the nifty invention that is a webcam.

Then comes nice Lima. On the flip side of the coin (a Nuevo Sol coin) from the shantys and poverty is the richness!!! The Mira Flores area is where the school is located and this is an elite area of teh city. The shopping centre is built into the cliff face overlooking the Pacific and the gardens and perpetually watered in order for the elite (us) to forget just how arid this country is. The policemen greet you at every street corner. The security guards wish you buenos dias at every opportunity and you are made to feel very special.

Then comes your invite to Bibby's beach house. The deputy head: teaching and learning has a beautiful beach house that he kindly invited the new recruits to ; and so pisco sours, beers and tumblers of red wine whilst eating huge steaks (that can still be heard mooing) were copiously ingested.

The staff seem a good bunch and were fountains of advice about the school, the city, settling in and helping with Clare and bambino Pitty. The trepidations and doubts start to wash away as the sound of the waves of the Pacific ocean provide a soundtrack for a great start to life in Lima.

The Colin Bibby calls us to the deck to watch the sun set. We stand watching as the sun slinks behind the mid ocean stacks and slowly sinks down into the Pacific.

The setting may have been beautiful but not having Clare to share this sight with soon brings back the distance that Skype had dissolved.

This blog will hopefully be a regular update of life in this new city. I hope to have the time to keep it up and help people at home to share in this adventure that myself and shortly Clare plus one will be having on the other side of the world.

Adios