JonnyPitt456 has a big one again

I have finally got a 32 incher again and I got it from the supermarket. Clare gave me the go-ahead and we now have a flat screen HDTV to plug the XBOX into and receive the full highdef glory of the Microsoft game machine! I have been standard def for too long now, my blu-rays have been sat gathering dust and my Gears of War were getting somewhat rusty from lack of use. Watching copied DVDs from the street corner sellers may mean I get to see Clash of the Titans without going to the cinema but peliculars that are fuzzy, unclear and with decidedly dodgy sound are a long way away from the clear picture quality of 1080p of pixellated televisual goodness.
The deal of the week at Plaza Vea (the supermarket 4 minutes walk from the house) was a 32 inch Samsung TV for 1,400 soles. That sounds a lot but it is actually about £300. I could not resist and as the old TV in the house was not compatible with the XBOX or the Blu-ray player and had no remote. I had also been stuck watching films on my laptop which overheats so you end up with burn marks on your lap if you watch any film over 90 minutes long - watching the final Lord of the Rings may actually lead to a visit to A&E. Although visits to A&E are free and covered by your health insurance (if you phone within 24 hours). I am not sure what happens if you fall down the stairs and are not found for over 24hours?!?
So, I ordered the TV in Spanish, paid only speaking Spanish and then tried to leave the store carying the TV. "pare, senor". I had yelled at me.
Stop, why? The man then explained in a mix of Spanish and then charades when he realised I could not understand everything he was saying.
I will summise: His actions looked like I would be attacked if I walked down the street (is it an action? one word? one syllable? sounds like hunch?) with a new TV under my arm "es peligroso, cuidado" (I will apologise for my spelling now before Michael picks up on it). So instead, he called me a taxi and I enjoyed the shortest taxi drive of my life. 2 minutes and 5 soles later, I was back at home and the driver was carrying the TV up to the house.

I am now sat watching TV, the same dreadful American comedies that are on all the time but now I can play XBOX, I can watch films and I have an SAP button (a magic button that menas I can listen to football and baseball in English!!!!!).

But my Spanish is improving. I am using a quality website called Busuu.com - you complete online activities and can also chat to people online in the language you are trying to learn. Spanish people then correct your english and you then correct their Spanish - esta muy bueno.

Anywho, los Simpsons is just about to start so I have to go.

Adios

The parrot and the terapins

Yesterday, I was in the staff room and some very sad news was delivered. Not that a boy had fallen off the climbing wall 9yes that happened too) but that one of the parrots that sit happily outside my room had died.
The parrots are a constant background noise whilst I teach and they are also a pleasant reminder of the tropical climate in which i now live and work and in which Clare and Tilly will very soon be coming to.
The news came without notice and the follwing events may offend some readers (avert your eyes now if easily offended).

One the evening of Wednesday 21st April, one of the parrots fell from his lofty perch and landed in the pond. For some reason the parrot could not fly away from the pond and was stranded. If the parrot had merely drowned that would not have been sufficient to merit a mention in the blog. But.... rather than drowning the parrot was stuck in the water whilst the terapins slowly swam towards him. I wonder what was going through the bird's head - maybe oh, good some friendly turtles are coming over to help - maybe oh, look my friends from the mini-zoo coming to say hi. But very soon the parrot's thoughts would have changed as he realised that these terpains were not friendly (they had not been trained by Splinter in the kindness of the human race and did not have anykind of martial arts training nor a strange love of pizza) - oh no, these terapins / turtles (I am not really sure of the difference) are killer terapins!!!!
The parrot could not escape, he was stuck in the water and just when things could'nt get much worse, the terapins started to eat the parrot!!! Yes, you read that correctly, they ate the parrot alive.
The head of science at Markham said that it would have been a slow and painful death and it gives me shivers everytime I think about it too much.
To make it even more sad, the other parrot now sits outside my room, no longer looking happy and content but looking lonely, pining for thr fjords and pining for his lost friend that he had to witness being brutally murdered by the killer terapins.

This parrot is deceased, this is an ex-parrot!

RIP my parrot friend.

Adios

Markham College Swimming Gala and Fountain Park

Pictures courtesy of Jeff 'master photographer' Schwartje

Last Friday saw me attend my first school gala that I was not in charge of organising (who am I kidding, Hayley did the organising and I just turned up). Anyway, I had nothing to do with this and it was great!
The whole school crams into the stands to watch the swimmers and all the kids are dressed in their house colours. The blue house had people dresses as Avatar people and The Cookie Monster, the red house had Elmo, the yellow house had Pikachu and the green house had the grinch. They were all dresses in full costumes with no expense spared. The event itself had the kids all swimming in school swimming costumes and wearing silicone hats with their house emblazened on the side.
It was impressive stuff and much of the swimming lived up to the high standard set by the atmosphere at the poolside. School records were smashed, races had photo finishes, with Peruvian Natiional Judges as the time keepers it was all a bit more thorough that Mr Owen at the end of the pool stamping his pole and asking swimmers to 'plunge away'.
The finale was a staff relay and I had been training for at least a week to get into peak physical shape for my one length of the pool. I was in the best shape of my life (well my best shape this year anyway) and I was ready to go. I was wearing big board shorts as I was a tad afraid that wearing Speedos in front of 1,000 young kids may be an arrestable offence in Peru, but I was so pumped that even baggy shorts were not going to slow me down on this day.
The started called us to the blocks, I fidgeted with my goggles, fidgetted a bit more and then got into track start position. The crowd went silent and the started bellowed 'take your marks'. I was ready and my moment of destiny had arrived.
I tensed to pull back on the board, sprung forward just as the whistle went and dived in..........
15 seconds later, I looked across after just finishing and saw everyone else touch the wall. I had won my length! The crowd were cheering as I pulled myself up out of the water knowing that I had been good enough to win. This prestigious field included three women, a man with a sprained ankle, two 17 year old kids and an Old Markhamian who was obviously aged the wrong side of 40.My moment of glory had been short lived as I realised that nobody else was actually that good, but anyway I am sure a great man once said ýou can only beat what is put out against you'.
After the excitement of the swimming, it was off to fountain park in central Lima (Its not actually called that but I cant really pronounce the Peruvian name for it, so fountain park it is).
This park is a collection of fountains and light shows all set to music and with the chance to run through many of the fountains whilst trying to dodge the water (see the photos in the Flickr album).
It is a very enjoyable place and all the more impressive considering that we are in a desert. Where they get all the water from I dont really know and how they only charge the equivalent of 80p to get in, I have even less of a clue.
DJ tried to get us thrown out by spraying the water at everyone (no tocar el agua) was shouted at him several times through a loud hailer. He also then trespassed into the musical fountain exhibit and them persuaded me to venture into the fountain pyramid (see Flickr photos). The place is a must for anyone visiting Lima and the light, water and laser show is a unique event that has to be seen.

Adios

Tilly The Phillie

Tilly is seen here wearing all the latest fashion musts. The cap from New Era with the striking 'T' logo on the front. Contrary to popular belief, it stands for Texas rather than Tilly (She also has a 'P' cap that stands for Philadelhia Phillies ((Rather than Pitt)).

She unfortunatley does not yet have any shiny tracksuit bottoms to go with the cap, nor a hooded top or any kind of garish jewellery (don't worry she will not be one of those scary earring wearing babies - they are everywhere over here! As soon as they come out of the womb! I think the checklist goes: check heartbeat, cut umbilical cord and then pirece ears).

And in the top image she is see demonstrating this seasons must have, the 100% Peru bib(these can be found at any good Peruvian tourist shop). These will be seen on all the major fashion catwalks of the world over the coming weeks usually featuring an added hint of colour, these colours normally depend on what the wearer has been eating recently.

More Tilly Fashion essentials coming soon!

Adios

Happy Birthday Clare Pitt

Happy Birthday to my darling wife. Sending you birthday wishes and all my love over the bloggersphere (I hate that word). I will sing happy birthday to you over Skype later. I don't know the fun and clap along Peruvian version of happy birthday yet but it is definitely more fun that the boring English one. we will know it for next year. I am sure that Tilly will save an extra special nappy change for your extra special day.

Adios y feliz compleanos mi amor

Tilly Pitt out googles her dad

Just a quick post

I was googling Tilly Pitt the other day and I soon realised that she is closer to the top google result slot than I am. Outdone by my daughter and she is only three weeks old!!

Adios

naked men and monks

The first fieldtrip from Markham College was a strange occurance. A fieldtrip to look at tectonic action whilst only travelling 10 minutes away from the school (you couldnt quite do that in Birmingham, although the great Dudley earthquake does come a close second to the Lima coastline).

We started out at 7.30 (yep school really does start at 7.30 - its a killer) and we all jumped into a minbus hired for the day. The kids seemed aprehensive and did not look overly excited about the idea of a fieldtrip down the road from school.

Len Hussey was the man in charge of the group and he turned up to the trip attired in what can only be described as 'urban combat' gear. I felt a tad underdressed for the day without a bandana on. Len seems to break the trend of geography teachers wearing tweed and cords and instead wears a combat jacket, bandana and sunglasses (clearly remnants of his time in the Peruvian army!) (see the photos).

The first stop was looking at the cliff faces and where water is pumped out to be taken to the shanty towns of the local area. We then saw a coastal upwelling as water naturally pumps out of the ground as we reach the water table (an impressive site that started to get the kids interested in the day).The hunderds of boats in the sea is also a sight to behold. Hundreds of tiny row boats belonging to the local fishermen who provide the fish in Lima. The big trwaler boats only fish for fish to be sent abroad and the local fish comes from these tiny boats (see the photos in my flickr account).

the next highlight (apart from the tectonic faulting) was the strange man on the cliff face. Len was talking to the kids about magmatic insurgencies whilst a couple of the boys started giggling. I tunred to tell them off only to see what they were laughing at. Behind Len was walking a man who had just come up from the nearby shanty town, nothing funny in that, but then on closer inspection the man was not wearing any trousers ........or any pants!!!. He just had a jumper on and was slowly walking along the path, everything on show. Thankfully none of the girls turned around and Len kept focused on the geography rather than noticing this man's geographical feature of his own. Although even with his jumper on, he was clearly still cold!!!!

The day then progressed to plan, with no further nakedness and with the 18 year old kids getting more and more into the trip. That was until we reached the final cliff face and we were confronted by a monk. The monk prayed for us and held his crucifix aloft calling for help from the Gods. He then slowly walked around the coast and to the end cliff face (see the photo - you can just about see the monk). He then started praying again, before diving head first into the sea below. The pupils cheered and screamed, I panicked as the waves were huge, but he came back to the surface unhurt and then started clambering back up the cliff.

The day was a success and the oddness of some of the people in Lima never fails to impress.

On Friday I had to do a lesson with my form on respect. They had to list people that they do not respect and this time their prejudices rose straight to the surface. I went around the class, one by one.
"who do you not respect"
and the answers came thick and fast
"Bin Laden",
"terrorists",
"criminals",
"racists",
"my brother"
and then
"bus drivers"
"taxi drivers"
"gays"

yes, you read that correctly. One kid actually said gays. I stopped the session and asked how they could say that?
"have you seen gay people kissing sir?" he said "its disgusting"
so I stopped the lesson and spent 15 minutes explaining why they should respect gay people but the kid just would not have it.
Then the kids all spoke up and said
"ok, sir. We can accept the gay thing but we do not have to respect bus drivers. They cut you up, they shout at you, they are dirty, they have no respect for anybosy else, so I have no respect for them"
Now when they are talking about bus drivers, they mean the combis. They are not talking about your normal West Midlands Travel driver. These buses are a nightmare, they do cut everyone up, the buses are packed, they are dirty and the drivers shout almost as much as they use their horn. I could understand the kids' argument but again I tried to explain why respect is important. But it was like teaching respect and understanding of German people to a group of British war veterans.

Adios muchachos

Happy Easter

With a Peruvian National Holiday this Thursday and Friday it has given me 2 extra days off. I have thus far spent it getting sunburnt on the roof terrace. The sunburn was fine but I have since found that sunburn plus a spitting frying pan do not mix well.

The action packed weekend has mainly been spent looking at c.v.s for a geography job at the school (my first big head of department duty) and doing more marking. Daytime TV is however preventing me from doing too much work (In Peru they do not seem to enjoy housing programmes, followed by auction programmes, followed by women who are seemingly loose, followed by more housing programmes and then another auction/antique/david dickinson programme. Instead they have Seinfeld followed by Everybody loves Raymond, followed by football, followed by Two and a half men, followed by Smallville and then some more comedy and some more sport - Its as if I am actually in control of the TV schedule. I also get to read along in Spanish as I watch). Plus, because the TV is from a line from the people who live downstairs, the 70 channels are all free!!! (I dont think the landlord realises)
The TV however is not compatible with my XBOX and so there is an XBOX and Blu-ray player sat in the TV stand, looking very nice, but not being of any use. My guitar hero skills are wasting away by the second!

The main reason for the TV watching is to take my mind off how much I am missing my wife and little miss Pitt. I know it will not be long but the last week has dragged and dragged and dragged so who knows how long the next six are going to seem.

Happy Easter to everyone who takes the time to read my random waffling, I hope it is not too cold for everyone back home and I hope it isn't too cold for those venturing off to Sweden.

adjo (thats Swedish for goodbye for now)