Tilly Pitt's New Adventures in Babysitting

Before I even start to pretend that anything else is on my mind, I have got to have a quick rant about England. Not the rugby team this time as we finally won - in spite of Johnson's inadequacies as a tactician and manager - they beat the Aussies and finally selected the awesome Ben Youngs at scrum half. No, I have to rant about the bloody footballers!!!!! How they can earn over £100,000 a week for not caring about their country, I have no idea. Its like they don't know I am out here being ridiculed by Peruvian kids for their uselessness, do they not care about me?I have to turn up to work and face a barrage of abuse from kids, I have to watch the matches in the common room with Peruvian staff laughing at me and the team and I have to walk around the streets with taxi drivers and street vendors laughing at the useless English team. They are turning the country into a place to be laughed at - but at least BP and British airways are doing their best to recify this!
Right rant over, oh apart from the fact that I had to miss most of the match yesterday as I was teaching. Now I know that I did not miss much but knowing that England are playing in the world cup and I am teaching 11 year old kids last lesson on a Friday (when they do not want to be there)is difficult. My frustration with watching the first 20 minutes was clearly taken out on the kids as my sharp response level went up to a ten. If I was doing this to miss the football, then they were going to work!!!
However, work the rest of the week was enjoyable. My S2 class (Justin Bieber and Fifi the invisible dog) finally seem to be getting ineterested in geography as well as random chit chat, my S3 class are working well and my P6 (year 7) class asked some impressive geography questions that meant I finally got to use my brain and have one of those lessons where you seem to navigate the whole of the wonderful world of geography in a 40 minute lesson. The highlight of the working week was going on yet another trip (I feel like I am out of school more than in it at the moment). This time the trip was to Macapaca or Packamacka or somewhere that sounded either like a character from In The Night Garden or a portable rain coat. I did find it funny that we were going on a trip to Packamaca and we would not need a rain coat as it is in the desert. It should be called, Don't Pack a macka (yes, I still tell awful jokes in my lessons and get even fewer laughs than I did at King Edwards). The best joke this week has been - what is the difference between Robert Green and Justin Bieber? ..... Justin Bieber knows how to drop his balls! But at least it is a British spillage that the Yanks are happy about!
The trip saw us go about 45 minutes from school and visit a site of Inca ruins. We carved Inca figures out of soap, we learnt how to make Quipu (ancient abacus), visited a racreated Ica settelment and drank Chica (fermented corn which has had its creation aided by adding saliva! nice!), got growled at by Peruvian hairless dogs and dug for ancient pottery in the sand. The day was not exactly full of learning for the kids but it was fun and gave you a good understanding of the life of the Incas. The digging for artifacts in the sand was at a location that looked perfect for an Indiana Jones film and was amazing how quickly you could find bits of pottery and plates from 700 years ago (although knowing this place, it is not beyond the possibility of the staff planting bits of pottery into the ground for the kids to find). The hairless dogs are a feature of the Peruvian urban and rural landscape and no matter how many times you see them. they never fail to shock you as to just how ugly a dog can be! The beautiful beagles that we see in the park outside our living room window just add to how ugly the bald dogs look, especially when they are seen in the packs that seem to control the night-time streets of Lima.
After the awfulness of the England match (last refernce I promise) it took me a while to get back to myself again but the thought of Clare and I getting to go out on our first date in almost 9 months was enough to lift me from my duldrums. We had booked a babysitter and at 6 oclock we met her at our house (now when I say 6, of course I mean 6 oclock Peruivan time, so more like 6:40). She was impressively late but had come recommended by teachers at the school so she got the benefit of the doubt. We gave her some quick instructions with Clare 'I am ok with this' Pitt, talking at ten to the dozen and hoping that the poor girl could actually understand everything that Clare 'I am clearly not ok with this' Pitt was telling her. The only thing that I am confident of is that Clare said very clearly and slowly that the babysitter would not have to feed Tilly and that we would be back by the time she needs her next feed. I then repeated the fact that Tilly would not need to be fed or changed (So even you readers should be clear of these insructions and also I can imagine that you know where this tale is heading). So mummy and daddy Pitt went out for a curry with friends from school and then went to a nice romantic pisco bar in Miraflores. Curry, alcohol and no pram - it all seemed strangely memorable, like we had done this sort of thing before. We had a vague memory of a life where this sort of thing happened quite regularly. It was lovely to have an evening to ourselves and we had a fantastic night but even with our slightly fuzzy heads from the pisco, we were both keen to get back to our beautiful daughter and make sure the babysitter was as good as the reviews seemed to suggest.
So we got in and there were feeding bottles in the sink and a changed nappy in the bin. Hmm, strange considering the insructions! Was everything Ok, we asked. Oh, yes was her reply. She woke up so I fed her and changed her. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! she had fed her, she had broken the routine, she had gone against the Gina Ford, baby Bible. We had had two weeks of sleep, we had Tilly more trained up that a North Korean footballer and she knew the drill. Now one night with a babysitter and we both saw our sleepless nights returning, we saw a crying Tilly Pitt at 3 and 4 and 5 in the morning coming back and we saw our settled evenings and 7 hours sleep per night being threatened by a babysitter. That night we put Tilly to bed both fearing the worst but the worst did not arise. Our little angel slept through, we woke at seven to feed her and she even went back to sleep after to allow us a lie in!
The day before had even been a day when Tilly had another of her bank busting immunisations. The prices still remain high despite promises that health care is cheap here. Cheap compared to what we keep thinking? Cheap compared to a Ferrari, cheap compared to a Rolex watch, cheap compared to a Tiffany ring but definitely not cheap when compared to free health care back in England! You would have to be an England footballer to find this cheap as they are paid so much to not even try - to walk around the pitch without a care in the world (last mention I promise). The clinica is called the Clinica of Good hope (bodes well), you want more than just hope, I want a trained doctor. Or maybe its just hope that it wont cost as much this time!
Anyway, the injection went well. Tilly was asleep and then woke with a start when the huge needle was inserted but half an hour of cuddling later and she was back to normal, sitting in front of the football (her favourite thing to do it seems) and watching Germany lose- always a good thing!

So that ends our adventures for another week and yet another exciting week in the land of the giant guniea pigs and humming birds (we saw one flying around the flower bed outside our living room window today). I think this week I may start doing what the kids here do and pretending I come from a different country. They all support any country that speaks Spanish as Peru did not qualify for the World Cup. Unfortunately if I follow the same rule it means supporting a team that speaks English and last time I checked Australa and New Zealand weren't exactly doing well in the cup either. Oh well, as their fans are probably also saying at least there is always rugby!

Adios